Ask A Counsellor

Question


About a year ago I found out my husband had cheated on me Cheating is something unacceptable for me but because we have two daughters I decided not to break up the family.However, now I am struggling to forget and forgive what happened. I feel like I cannot trust him. Without trust, I cannot stay in this relationship. On the other hand, I do not want my children to get hurt. I'm not sure how to move forward?

Answer


The following answer is brought to you by Adrian Yates MA

You may be asking yourself, can a marriage survive an affair at all? The truth is it can. The biggest stumbling block to growth in a marriage is lack of communication which often leaves issues unresolved, leading to possible resentment and anger. This lack of communication is one of the main reasons for infidelity in marriage. Engaging in conversation to simply find what was on the other individual's mind is the key in overcoming infidelity. This is where it is crucial for a marriage counselor to assist you in getting over an affair or preventing it from occurring in the first place. However, once infidelity has been recognized and a couple are willing to build a new foundation for their marriage, it is essential that they can overcome their feelings about the infidelity and start with a clean slate. Otherwise, the infidelity will be a constant topic and the new start will be doomed to failure. A marriage counselor can help couples coping with infidelity by going through the relationship from the start and see how they got to the point of the actual infidelity. If the couple can cooperate well enough throughout the sessions they usually finish the therapy with a better and stronger relationship. This way an affair can even bring positive changes to a relationship if the parties are willing to beat the feelings of anger and pain and also willing to consider to what extent are they the cause of the situation themselves. Forgiving infidelity and rebuilding trust in a marriage is not easy but professional help can contribute to establish a successful marriage. It is also essential that therapy is sought quickly, either when the couple first sense issues arising or immediately after infidelity is discovered. Many therapists work with couples when the relationship seems beyond repair. While nothing is impossible, the earlier help is sought, the better chance there is of a successful solution to therapy.

Adrian Yates MA

Psychotherapist

Talk with Adrian Yates

Adrian has nearly a decade of experience as a counselor, psychotherapist, and hypnotherapist. For the last 8 years, he has focused on providing online therapy to clients from all over the world. He specialises in many personal challenges from relationships, anxiety, and depression including post-traumatic stress and eating disorders and grief.


Specialties:

- Dating - Relationships - Anxiety - Addictions - Anger Management - Bipolar Disorder - Codependency - Depression - Domestic Abuse - Self Esteem - Behavioural Issues - Coping - Divorce - Grief